April 7, 2010
day 2… sort of
ok so i am a bad little yoga girl.
i dont feel good. really honestly my throat and lungs are killing me and i feel achy and painy and i have the chills. my poops are weird and its driving me nuts. my tummy hurts. and i just don’t feel “right”.
plus i had a shit day. its rainy out. my job is driving me nuts. i am losing more money than i am making. im lonely and bored.
i ate sushi (well tofu teriyaki) and potato wedges with lots of ketchup and pound cake. (mental health is just as important as physical! sometimes you need some freaking pound cake!)
i am not doing to do yoga tonight
i am probably not going to meditate either. ok i will try and meditate but i seriously feel like shit.
day 2 might have to be postponed until i don’t feel like shit. hopefully tomorrow i will be better and i can yoga up again.
April 6, 2010
day 1
i think i did pretty well today.
eating. i had earl grey (my fave drink!) for breakfast, a veggie sandwich and fruit salad for lunch and turkey sandwiches with mashed potatoes and cucumbers for dinner. i was going to try and give up diet coke, but i am not sure that that is possible.
yoga. 20 minutes of rodney yees power yoga total body. i know… only 20 minutes but it was hard! i am sweating!
meditation. i am going to follow my yoga with some meditation, then an early bed for me! 
i bought a yoga mat today! its really nice and thick (i hate those wimpy ones!)
i am feeling not super great today. i had a shitty never ending day at work, and i really haven’t been feeling very well. my stomach is upset and my throat feels weird. i am one of those people who freaks out about everything but i am really not feeling too hot. i am trying to keep a positive outlook, but i think i might go see a doctor this weekend.
April 5, 2010
25 days of yoga
i am overweight.
i am! its weird because… i don’t actually think of myself as overweight. i don’t think i really look fat…defiantly chubby but not particularly fat. i do constantly think about it; i don’t go out because of it. some part of my mind feels like “gah, this can’t be my body, it doesn’t feel like me!”. when i was younger, i did synchronized swimming 4 times a week so i was pretty fit, and now at 165 pounds (im 5’6 and a half). i have had enough.
it is hard tho because i am a student, and i am one of those people who is constantly stressed. if i dont have something to worry about, i will make something up. i do awful on exams, i piss of my boyfriend with all my working about safety, i even have this annoying habit of checking my pulse every few minutes(just to see if im still going i guess). and when i get stressed, i eat.
i love eating.
i dont eat when i am hungry, i eat when it is time to eat. or when everyone else is eating. or when i have nothing better to do. often i will have 3 dinners (a snack at 4ish, dinner, and then second dinner when my boyfriend comes home because whatever he is having looks good). i do not eat healthy because well 1. i can’t cook/i am lazy so i eat out a lot 2. eating healthy is expensive 3. i don’t care what any one says, it just doesn’t taste as good.
but i am sick of being overweight. i don’t want to be uber skinny, in fact i like that i have some meat on me, but i want to be able to go out to a bar and not feel like the silly chubby girl. (it doesn’t help that my friends are skinny goddesses either!)
recently i read “eat, pray, love” by Elizabeth Gilbert (great read btw!) and i am mesmerized by yoga. i have done yoga in the past and i really enjoy it, but this book opened my eyes to the spiritual side of yoga. i am not a spiritual person, but something about meditation is really attractive to me. the “love yourself” theme is one that i would really like to adapt.
whats the point? well i think i am going to go on a yoga kick. this is my plan. it is april 5th today, and i have until april 30 until i have to move back to waterloo. i am going to do a 25 day yoga kick. it will entail:
- half an hour (or more) of physical yoga every day
- half an hour (or more) of meditation every day
- eating non-shit (fruits, veggies, whole grains etc)
- trying to have a positive outlook on life (eat, pray, love reference – smiling with my liver)
now to be realistic. the reality is i will likely not be able to do the physical yoga/meditation on the weekend because my boyfriend will laugh at me. i will try, but likely i will fail. but i will try. however, i will seriously commit to 25 days of healthy eating.
i do know yoga is not going to help me lose weight. i have tried to lose weight via yoga before and it just doesn’t work for me (maybe i am not doing it right, i don’t know). i am hoping that yoga and meditation will inspire me to lead a healthier lifestyle; eat better, exercise more, worry less.
so anyone out there who has done something similar, has any tips or advice or … anything. please let me know. i will try and post my progress as i go.
March 29, 2010
freaking politics of green and fucking stupid people
So recently I came across this blogpost http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/03/29/yale-to-greens-abandon-climate-change-focus-on-energy/. It erked me to no end. Freaking politics. We ARE ruining our environment. Do we really need to nail down the exact terms to address this issue, or should we just jump on trying to address it (I am not saying that it is (going to be) easy)). Anyways, I decided to post my comment on here as well, seeing as it is basically a blog post anyways. The first section addresses the comment
Richard North,
The claim is that ethanol and biodiesel cause less carbon emissions than the equivalent natural hydrocarbons. Or… that they mighteventually. The “cleaner” argument is much stronger when it isn’t focused on the carbon emissions but other emissions – the sulfur content is dramatically lower.
My response:
Alan S Blue,
The claim to bio fuel is not at all that they produced less carbon at the tailpipe, but rather that it “recycles” what is already out there.
Consider the lifecycle involved in producing a gallon of bio fuel. First it must grow. Canola oil, grown from rapeseed, is a feedstock for bio diesel. In order to grow rapeseed, CO2 is consumed from the air. It is stored in the plant as it grows. Also, by-products are produced from rapeseed, mainly the stock of the plant. This stock can be burned to create fuel to diminish the use of fossil fuel in the production of the fuel.
Now think about fossil fuel. When dealing with fossil fuel, carbon that has been isolated from the atmosphere for thousands of years is released. IE You pull it out and burn it, releasing it into the atmosphere.
Bio-fuel at the tailpipe of a car or in an electrical generation system generates more equivalent CO2 emissions at virtually every step of the life cycle of a fuel (Feedstock extraction, land changes, feedstock transport, production, distribution, dispensing, operation of vehicle, vehicle assembly and decommissioning). Still bio fuel has approximately a fifth of the equivalent CO2 emissions due to Carbon in end use fuel from CO2 in air and emissions displayed by by-products.
That is not to say that bio-fuel does not come with challenges. Very few cars can run smoothly on 100% bio-fuel, as it is very viscous (thick) and does not perform well in extreme temperatures. There is also a humanitarian aspect to it; how can we justify using farm land to produce fuel to power our SUV’s and minivans, when that land could be used to grow corn for the millions of starving people in the world.
The second section is about stupid people who change their opinions to match whatever they hear on the news that night. North Americans have too much faith that everything will work out. This blind faith and false sense of security has resulting in our inability to think critically about what is going on and make up our own freaking minds. We are fucking up our environment. No argument. If you try to argue that point you are an idiot (… in my opinion (the good wife anyone?)… IDIOT!)
To address the overall tone of this message board, I would like to say that I am completely depressed by the majority of your comments. You really want to challenge that we are ruining our environment? Really? Talk to any one from New Orleans. True, global warming was not the culprit there, but the rather the destroying of wetlands for profit. (Note, historically, the wetlands surrounding New Orleans have protected the area from massive damage due to storms as they have acted to slow and minimize swells before they reached the in land areas. Not only that but the minerals provided by these regions have kept the soil rich and healthy, and now that the wetlands have been depleted, these minerals are being wash out to sea). While I do agree that Green Issues have become a political statement lately, this sudden push against all things green is equally political. As stated in this article, the green industry has been growing for the past 20 years. Why the recent push back? What has changed?
Being environmentally friendly is expensive. Green energy costs more and there is no way around it. When the economy was booming, politicians, industries and corporations were happy to have an enemy (global warming) to throw money at to increase their approval ratings. But now that they are counting every cent, don’t think for a second that they are not pressuring scientists to say “Oh we don’t need to worry about global warming, it was just a fad”.
I am not claiming to know all the facts, but I AM BEGGING YOU TO THINK CRITICALLY about what you are agreeing with here. Over the past hundred years we have changed our environment more rapidly than ever in the course of human history. Not to say that this is the fastest the world has ever changed, but you must agree that we are doing some serious damage. Historically, rapid changes have not bode well for the earth’s inhabitants of the time. If we continue down this swiftly accelerating path of change, I cannot help but draw the conclusion that we are heading for a similar fate.
* Note I am NOT an Environmentalist. I am an engineer in the Oil and Gas industry, which I would think would make me bias in the opposite direction of my opinions stated above.
wrap up your shit…
i never like my fellow co op students. well, i do as long as i don’t have to work with them directly. but in every instance that i have had to work along side another student, they have royally pissed me off. not sure if this is relevant, but i have never worked with a female co op student. so it is possible that the initial statement of this rant should be changed to i never like my fellow male co op students. but i cant be sure. i have a feeling the females would piss me off just as much.
the first co op i worked with would fall asleep in meetings. important meetings, with lots of people. and he would snore and drool and generally make co op students (and my default, me) look stupid. other co op students included a guy who was seriously the most socially incapable person ever. EVER. and i am an engineer, going to school at a very technical (AKA geeky) school. i know socially incapable people. (side note: this guy was a physicist). also a guy who just didn’t give a fuck about anything.
my current co op partner shares a big table with me for our work space. he is an ok guy. he is super laid back, which pisses me off, but i do realize that i am mostly just be neurotic. the noises he makes while eating are disgusting. sloping noises. almost like a cow but more like a kid with his mouth full of peanut butter that is sticking to the top of his mouth while he is trying to slurp down. and he eats all the time. ALL the TIME! he is late every single day, and leaves early every single day. my boss notices and talks to him about it once a week. it is actually quite funny, because i can see everyone in the office becoming visibly annoyed and this guy just oblivious. however, i hate it when people make a group that i belong to look stupid. in this case, this guy makes co op students look bad. i am a co op student, therefore this also reflects badly on me. i also hate it when girls play dumb to impress guys or when engineers play the “my weenie is bigger than yours” to try and impress whoever they are comparing weenies with. (*by weenie i mean any thing from calculator to job, discipline to car, amount of beer they can drink to literally, their weenies)
he also takes long breaks which on which i assume he is taking a nap on the toilet. i know your thinking maybe he just has digestive problems with all the food he is eating, but i really don’t think that is it. he disappears for 45 minutes consistently, every day between 3:30 and 4:30. i am thinking he is thinking siesta time. ok but honestly, i don’t really care about that except for today.
today my boss and co op student # 2 and i were the last ones in the office. quitting time rolls around and co op #2 was still off in bathroom land, while all his stuff was still in the office. our office is a small studio, and we have to lock up each night. co op #2 and i don’t have keys, so my boss (or someone else with keys) normally waits for us to leave so they can lock up. tonight, i was dying to get out of there, so i packed up my stuff headed out the door. i casually told my boss that the other student’s stuff was still in the office, so that my boss wouldn’t lock up and leave my desk buddy stranded. well, my boss chooses this moment to decide the he is also in a rush to get out of there. he gives me the keys and asks me to wait. my boss suck his head in the boys washroom to tell the other co op that i was going to wait around and leaves me stranded, wondering how i got stuck potty sitting.
now you would think, if you knew that someone was waiting for you to wrap up your shit (no pun intended… hehe), you would god damn wrap it up. i waited 36 minutes for him to leave the bathroom. not exaggerating. i timed it. not only that, but once he gets his ass of the toilet, he takes another 16 minutes to pack up. so that puts me at a wait time of 52 minutes. 52 MINUTES. seriously!? that is rude. i can understand the need for a long bathroom break every once in a while, but if someone is waiting for you (especially when it is a member of the other sex), common practice is to cut ‘er short and finish up later.
gah i can’t wait for this term to be over.
March 23, 2010
nurse jackie
ok, i love this show. seriously, i watch alot of tv and it has been a long time since i have loved a show THIS much. i cannot tell you how ecstatic i am that she is back!!!!!!!!
why do i love this show you ask? well the answer is simple: its dark humour and witty writing got me hooked, but it has really been the characters that make me love this show.
jackie herself is a joy. who wouldn’t love a druggie nurse who isn’t afraid to play god? and i loved her double life. while it did end in season 1, i have to say it rocked my world. i love that she will kick ass, but that she is loyal to her friends (ok, not her husband, or boyfriend or whatever…) she is a hardcore bitch and i love a good hardcore bitch. but i love that she believes in what she believes and in her own fucked up way, everything she does is perfectly justified. edie falco is brilliant. i love her. and she is rocking the short hair!
i personally relate the most to dr o’hara. she’s got a high power job and a non-existant personal life (which is my life goal btw). she doesn’t take anything seriously and is always up for a good joke. but i mean she is basically lonely. her job is her life. well, and partying and expensive clothing. and she obviously has mommy issues (who doesn’t). i think her and jackie make a perfect duo, but the relationship i love even more is between o’hara and zoey.
zoey is my favourite character of all time. the conversations she has with o’hara after she has been casually blown off are amazing. these convo’s make me laugh out loud and i am not the laugh out loud at tv type. i love that she has pink scrubs and i loved (and continue to love) watching her decent from perky to jaded. merritt wever rocks this character.
i do have to admit that i do not love the crazy daughter story line. i mean, ya its dark, but i don’t really think it adds a whole bunch to jackie’s character and her daughter is not enough of a character on her own. honestly, i could do without the homelife story all together. its good to know that she has a great loving husband and family, who obviously has problems but overall is pretty darn good. but i don’t really feel a desire to know much more than that. i love it when the story focuses on the hospital.
i miss eddie. i don’t know where they are taking his character, and i can’t decide if i like it yet.
i can’t decide how i feel about coop. i change my opinion every episode i see. he is whiny and bratty and a pain in the butt. but i love his cheeky-ness. “pixis pew pew”
LOVE thor. diabetic, stress eater, gay nurse, who looks tough, but opens his mouth and you know instantly he is a teddy bear. and did i mention, his name is thor…. ya.
Gloria Akalitus… i love her too. the episode that she accidentally got jackie’s drugs was brilliant.
ok so this wasn’t really a blog post at all but just my ranting of how i love this show. i do love it. i love it more than any show ever (ok maybe not sex and the city, but more than the sopranos and that is saying something). the fact that it is back has made my whole week, and these days, nothing makes my week. yah nurse jackie!
March 21, 2010
iphone or what?
i have long been obsessed with apple in all regards. however, the iphone is something that i have lusted over for longer than even my extremely sexy macbook pro. however, being a telus customer in canada, i haven’t been able to get the iphone as until recently, telus did not have the network that the iphone required. i tried getting a imitation of the iphone (HTC Diamond). from this i immediately learned that i wanted the real thing. the HTC diamond was the shits and i returned it the very next day. i got a standard flip phone that i figured would last me until the iphone came to telus.
the iphone has been available through telus for a while now, however, telus has been a bit of a jerk about letting me renegotiate my contract. basically, they wouldn’t let me. until now (muhahahaha). i now have the ability to renegotiate my contract to get the iphone. however, i am torn. i have been awaiting the much anticipated 4G version that is rumoured to be revealed summer 2010. this new version is rumoured to have improved battery life, new software, better camera, camera in front to enable video conferencing, slimmer sexier look, LED screen and more.
i was planning to wait until the 4g was released until getting a iphone (i thought i have already waited 2 years, whats 2 more months). however, i realized this weekend, the 4G version will likely not be available for telus users until much after the release date. even if the iphone is revealed in july, it will likely not be available for purchase until September, and even then only in the US. in canada, rogers will get it first, and telus will lag behind by months.
being a very poor in debt student, there is no way i can buy one of these devices outright, and am relying on signing a contract to cut the price. if i wait until october, i could switch to rogers, but i feel that they rip of their customers with their over the top prices and i am a loyal telus customer.
so my question to you is… should i get the current 3Gs and enjoy many extra months of iphone bliss or wait it out for the supposedly impressive 4G version?
March 19, 2010
shel
Image by catlovers. Available under a Attribution Share Alike licence.
i am 21 and have been with the same guy for nearly 6 years. 3 of those years we lived in different provinces, and we have broken up twice; both times my fault. we have been living together for just about a year and a half.
i dont know where i would be without him. his name is sheldon but i call him shel. he is honestly and without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. he is one of those people who is always happy. everyone likes him, and i can see why. he is the most likeable person i have ever met and i am not just saying that because he is my boyfriend. he makes me a better person, he keeps me sane, and he loves me no matter what.
we started dating in highschool. we worked at mcdonald’s together, and at the time, i was somewhat of a floozy. i tended to like guys with cars and he had one. that was not what attracted me to him though. he bought a concert ticket for a friend of mine, which struck me as a really nice thing to do. she had no interest in him so i asked her to hook us up a bit. the three of us went to a football party (he was on the team). we started drinking, and i was doing my very best to subtly flirt with him. he was oblivious. i thought he just wasn’t interested and ended up making out with another guy. however, sheldon had agreed to drive me home so when my curfew hit, he convinced my make out buddy that the fun was over. i asked him to take me to get a coffee before dropping me off.
it must have been the booze, because i told him that i was really hoping to make out with him that night. i think he thought i was joking or making fun of him, but he held my hand as we walked into the tim hortons. he drove me home and i kissed him on my doorstep. as fate would have it, my parents returned at the exact moment of our smooch so it was cut short.
we started dating. he was a year old and had a car. he would drive me and my friends to get food at lunch and would call me every night before he went to sleep. a month after we started dating, it was my birthday. he gave me a necklace, and without thinking i said “i love you”. he said it back at the exact moment that i got embarrassed and said “oh well i dont really love you”
turns out i did love him.
he was my first real boyfriend. i had other boyfriends in the past, but he was the only serious one. he was the first person i had sex with.
we had 3 long years of being separated due to university. one while i was still in high school and he was in calgary, and the rest while i was in ontario. i broke up with him twice during first year, but he always fought it. i regret it now.
now that i am in toronto, i miss him a lot. he is the one person who i feel totally comfortable around. i can tell him anything. we fight and everything but even when i steaming mad at him, i know that he is the person that i want to spend the rest of my life with. i have always told him i don’t want to get married, and a large part of me still doesn’t. but when i was telling my uncle about my parent’s divorce recently, he gave me an interesting bit of advice; “over the course of a relationship, you fall in and out of love with the other person multiple times. a marriage is what keeps you together so that you fall back into love”. i know that when i am old and crotchety, i want him by my side.
March 18, 2010
im going to punch you in the face
Image by hunterseakerhk. Available under a Attribution, Share Alike CC licence.
“i’m going to punch you in the face” is by far one of my favourite sayings. i use it often, but never really mean it. however i recently discovered drunken me does mean it.
2 weekends ago i was at a close friends birthday, at her house. usually when i go over to a friend’s house for a party i pick up a $7 bottle of arbor mist,a low alcohol fruit wine, and consume that over the evening. i would not consider myself a huge drinker, and drink probably twice a month. one of the reasons for this is that i do not take particularly well to alcohol. i usually drink way to much, far to fast, and end up passed out, crying or doing something nuts. not too long ago, i ended up hiding in my closet from my boyfriend, and when he found my i proceed to throw every single shoe i own (which is a lot) at him. i know i sound crazy, and i’m not denying it. i can be a terrible person when i have been drinking, but usually it doesn’t get that bad. but when you are in university, it is way to easy to drink too much and end up doing foolish things.
this particular evening, i had just gotten off a 2.5 hour bus ride that usually takes 1 hour, and i was particularly ticked off. so i decided to treat myself and instead of getting my traditional arbor mist, i decided to go for a more expensive 12.5% bottle of wine. i think you can see where this is going.
one of the people i regularly hang out with is my friend andrew. well, i am actually never sure if we are friends. sometimes we act like we hate each other, while other times we get along great. i think the main reason for this is that we are extremely similar. we love to mock other people, be sarcastic, and generally, well… obnoxious. of the two of us, i am definitely more out there and loud, while he is more calculating and sneaky. we always joke that we only get along when mocking one of our other friends, which we do quite often. but we are always trying to embarrass, tease, or piss off each other as well. example, he is a neat freak and likes to have everything in his room just right. last time i was at his house, i hid his toothbrush, his shoes, his hair brush and his towel. he found everything but the toothbrush, and i still refuse to tell him were i put it.
this particular Friday evening was no different, and we were mocking each other endlessly. at some point, i got overly drunk. as i said, i tend to do crazy things when i drink. well he was pissing me off, as usual and i got mad and stormed into my friend’s bedroom. what happened next i do not completely remember. i vaguely remember telling someone that i was going to punch him in the face, as i often do. and they said “ya do it”. well i think a little light bulb in my head went off. “you mean i can actually punch him in the face?!”
*bam*
the next thing i remember is my hands flying to cover my wide open mouth in disbelief. i don’t remember hitting him at all. i knew that i did, but it was like an out of body experience. he looked shocked. i was told later that i didn’t give him any warning, just calmly tapped him on the shoulder, said “andrew?” and then WHAM, hit him.
needless to say i left quickly.
unfortunately, my boyfriend who i usually live with and stay with when i am in town, is currently living with andrew, while i am on a work term in toronto. in the morning when i woke up, i was afraid to leave my bedroom. i hit him hard, and was scared he had a black eye. when i finally did work up the courage to go out there, i apologized profusely. but i punched him in the face, and i knew he wasn’t going to forgive me anytime soon. he didn’t have a black eye, but did have a cut under his eye, and somehow, a bruised lip (which i am still not convinced was due to my punch, but i was in no position to argue.)
it has been 2 weeks now and i have seen him since then. he says he is not mad at me anymore but he obviously is. i don’t blame him, i sure would be if it had been the other way around. he did say he was going to get me back though, which am i’m looking forward to immensely.
i feel awful about it. i really do. like who does that? what was i thinking? the obvious answers are 1) me and 2) i wasn’t. so i have made a vow to not drink until i think i can control myself.
moral of the story is don’t overdrink (too vague ) don’t punch people in the face ( i am sure there are some cases when you should punch people in the face) don’t be a loser (too late!) don’t use sayings that you might interpreted to be good ideas when drinking. just because it’s obviously a bad idea in real life, doesn’t mean you will see it like that once you have a $8.50 bottle of wine in you.
March 17, 2010
sorry reddit, i didn’t knowwwww
Image by SarahDeer. Available under a Attribution CC Licence.
ok so i realize i made a mistake. i am new to blogging, and am finding the whole thing much more confusing than i thought it would be! posting my blogs is simple enough, but i would really like to get into some other blogs, and perhaps get some people into mine. i know blogging can be a kinda community thing and i would love to get some back and forth.
so when a friend suggested i try reddit to check out other blogs, i was like “awesome, will do”. i am sure to all you people who are used to reddit, it is completely intuitive and easy to understand, but to a non blogger, it is overwhelming. so i flicked through, and then saw the post a link item, and thought “eh why not post my blog up” not really realizing that you use reddit to post specific articles and cool things you found on the web (i think i get it now though….).
Anyways, i got a comment back on reddit, and when someone called me a blogspammer i immediately realized i made a mistake. i just posted my blog with just a basic tagline on what my site was about, with a link to my overall blog. oopsssss. anyways. i am sorry. will not do again. please forgive me, i am learning.
it did make me super happy that my site got 34 hits though! even though probably no one read it. doesn’t matter
